HUNTSVILLE, AL--Jesus Christ, son of God and noted pro-life 
activist, killed two and critically wounded seven others when He opened 
fire in the waiting room of a Huntsville abortion clinic Tuesday. 

      Security guards at the Women's Medical Clinic of Huntsville were 
able to disarm the Messiah before He could reload His weapon, a 
secondhand Glock 9mm pistol that authorities said He purchased legally 
at a Jackson, MS, sporting-goods store. 

      "Abortion is a sin," said Christ as He was led away in handcuffs. 
"It is an abomination in the eyes of Me." 

      Witnesses said the attack, which took the lives of Dr. Nelson 
Woodring, 51, and clinic nurse Danielle Costa, 29, came from "out of 
nowhere." 

      "He walked up to the admissions desk and asked if He could see Dr. 
Woodring," receptionist Iris Reid said. "The next thing I knew, He was 
shouting Biblical verses and opening fire on everything moving." 

      "It was horrible," said injured clinic nurse Jessica Combs, 
recovering at a local hospital with bullet wounds to the leg and 
abdomen. "He put his hands over Dr. Woodring's head and told him He 
forgave him for his sins, and then He shot him right in the face." 

      Huntsville police officials are not certain how the Messiah was 
able to bypass clinic guards and proceed undetected past security 
cameras and into the clinic waiting room, where He produced the gun from 
its hiding place in the folds of His robe. Federal investigators are 
similarly baffled, saying that the heavily armed Christ had moved in 
"mysterious ways." 

      Speaking to reporters from His holding cell, Christ, 33, said He 
had "no regrets" about what He had done. 

      "As I said in John 16:21, every life is precious," Christ said. 
"This means every life, not just those who have already been born. My 
father, the Lord, feels the same way I do. In Jeremiah 1:5, He said unto 
the prophet Jeremiah, 'Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, 
before you were born I set you apart.' The unborn fetus is a sacred, 
living creation of my Father in Heaven and should be treated as such." 

      Added Christ: "What if the Virgin Mary had decided to abort me? 
Certainly she must have been tempted to do so. After all, it wasn't even 
her decision to conceive me in the first place. But in the end, she made 
the right decision, bringing her pregnancy to term and giving the world 
a Savior. Blessed is she among women." 

      According to legal experts, if convicted, Christ could face the 
death penalty. 

      "The state of Alabama has the death penalty, and this crime is 
certainly the sort that would be construed as a capital offense," 
University of Michigan law professor Arthur Lipscomb said. "With the 
right judge and jury, Christ could very well be put to death yet again." 
In such a case, Lipscomb said, Alabama would likely use lethal injection 
rather than crucifixion. 

      Christ said He is unafraid of the prospect of execution. "Those 
who know me know that I am willing to die for the sins of others, 
whether those sins be avarice, slothfulness, false idolatry or the 
butchering of unborn life," Christ said. "The bottom line is, abortion 
stops a beating heart." 

      Tuesday's shooting is not Christ's first brush with the law. On 
April 8, 29, He was arrested in the Roman province of Judea for alleged 
false claims to the throne of the Kingdom of Israel. On Jan. 11, 1996, 
He and six other pro-life activists were jailed for blocking the 
entrance to a Cheektowaga, NY, abortion clinic. In October 1997, He was 
arrested for plotting to mail anthrax-laced packages to two dozen 
abortion doctors across the U.S. 

      "Abortion is an abomination. It is a sin. It is murder," Christ 
said. "I only did what any good Christian would have done." 

      Christ's followers have been overwhelmingly supportive of their 
leader. 

      "As it says in Psalm 139:13-16, 'For You created my inmost being; 
You knit me together in my mother's womb. My frame was not hidden from 
You when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in 
the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body,'" said Ralph 
Anson of the Houston-based Every Life Is Precious. "Those people at that 
clinic were killers, and they deserved to die." 

      "We may not understand everything He does, but we must believe it is for the best," said Rev. Joseph Abernathy, minister at First United Baptist Church of Huntsville. "As Christians, it is not our duty to question what our Savior does. We can only live according to His example.