My Life you actually came here. I didn't think anyone even cared about the things going on in my life. This is pretty cool. Well, there's not much that's been going on since school started. Every day is about the same thing, wake up, go to school, come home and eat then go to sleep. Doesn't that sound fun? Didn't think so. Anyway since the only new thing is school I'll tell you about it then after that I'll return to my pathetic attempts at being funny.

OK, it all starts when I wake up in the morning. I hated waking up at the begining of the year, but ever since this daylight savings thing I've been able to be up really early. I love day lights savings, it's a briliant idea. Who thought of it anyway? I mean who actually sat down and thought out this plan to turn back clocks in the fall and set them forward an hour in spring? Whoever he is, he's a genious. He's probably rich if you think about it. I'm sorry, I forgot where I was going with that. Anyway, after I get up I have to watch "Passe Par Tout". Bill Bellows is my boy. He rocks. Meteorologists rule. If I were to elect a king, it would be a meteorologist. If you think about it they are pretty cool, they know what the weather is. You plan your day around the weather, so if they tell you it's sunny you're gonna go on a picninc. So if he says "It's sunny" you pack up your stuff you get to the park and...BOOM, it's raining. Pretty sneaky, eh? I bet the president couldn't pull that off. Anyway, after getting my daily alotment of weather I go to school. I think the bell to start school rings too early. I'm never on time, but I try none the less. I was almost on time once. The tardy bell rang right before I got to the door. Don't you hate that? After Geometry (first hour) I have English. English is OK I guess, I'm not too crazy about it, but I manage somehow. After that I go to French III. Never take French III. For some unknown reason they teach you "existentialism". That is a big word that mean absolutly nothing. It's a literary movement that started in France. It's basic principle is that actions don't matter, so any movie made using this technique makes no sense and has no plot. I failed the test on this because it makes no sense. And what literture has to do with the french language I have no idea. It's all dumb anyway. The teacher is cool, and I have a cool friend in that class named "Joe". He's cool. After French is Civics, this is pretty much self explanitory. So is PE. After PE I have Biology. It's easy, I understand it and that's all that's important. That's how my day is. Man, I'm boring. Now it's back to my attemps on being funny.

What Goes On In My Head

Hello, friends, juust a few random thoughts from yours truly.... Five minutes with Walter Matthau is like 10 years in an Ivy Leagues school.... It's a shame what's happening in Sarajevo.... There is nothing more pleasurable than spreading butter all over your chest and watching TV.... Don't count out Olympia Dukakis in the 1953 Oscar race.... If you see my good friend Joe, tell him to give me a call.... Kudos to thos fine folks who make Bugles so consistently delicious.... I just thought of a great question to ask Jan Michael Vincent.... Boy do I hate this shirt.... What's that guy over there doin?.... The Amish make fine houses.... I wish Freddie Prinze was alive today so we could both laugh... Some of the most beutiful women in the world work in diners.... Sex after 60 may be a challenge, but I like challenges.... If I had four awards to give, I would give them all to the Golden Girls.... I cannot wait to see what the producers of Logan's Run are up to next.... Teach a poor city kid how to love and you've made the world a slightly better.... Help, I'm stuck on a ledge!.... Get out of my house!.... Please don't ever leave me again.... What in God's name am I talking about here, anyway?.... Look up "inventive" in the dictionary and you'll find a picture of Shields & Yarnell.... I don't give a f*** who you are; I paid the goddamn bill.... The difference between top-shelf vodka and bottom-shelf vodka is only a few dollars.... Kudos to the Jews and all the ways they entertain us.... I am always amazed at the depth of TV's Angie, Donna Pescow.... hey look a spider....Shoes make the man, but it takes men and women working together to make a pair of shoes.... Cutting down on sugar is a great way to lower gastrointestinal discomfort.... There's a nice food restaurant on the corner of Belmont and Shanks.... Betrayal can bring about the coldest season of the human heart.... I disapprove of anyone who might cheat on a test.... Check out the rack on the Bernadette Peters.... Will someone help me get these curlers out of my hair?.... I am afraid of scary bats.... Hey, there's pears in this Jell-O!.... All the people who were ever important to me are dead.... Lord Jesus, how I wish I was Robert Wagner... Always carry a hammer with you.... I forgot to refrigerate the butter....The brown bananas taste very, very different.... Are you famous? If so, I love you!.... Where's my Bromo-Seltzer?.... There's nothing like breathable black dress socks on a sunny day.... Somehow I got all wet again.... If youlook up marmosets in the dictionsry, you'll find a picture of a small furry mamal.... Christ, my freakin' head is spinning!.... What was I talking about again? Oh yeah.... Charles Kuralt has worn some of the finest sweaters known to man.... How in God's name did this M.A.S.H. show get cancelled?.... Those armchairs with the swing-out foot rests are a true godsend.... My brown belt. Where the hell did I put that damn thing?.... Not so tight.... HGave you ever notived you park in the driveway but you drive to the movies in you car?.... That Ellen Berstyn has still got it.... If I could be any nationality in the world, I'd be Flemish.... Milton Berle is hung like an ox.... Of all the major religions, Buddhism has the best outfits.... If I was God for a day, I would eliminate the terrible scourge of rickets.... These scars are not healing as quickly as I would have hoped.... That Eartha Kitt is one dynamite lady--and a class act to boot.... Well that's about it, the nurse says it's time to go. Bye